Ego and the Pursuit of Improvement
Written by Kenny Florian
Coming face to face with yourself can be extremely difficult. We spend time working hard on things and in that process come to define and shape ourselves externally and internally. The ego often involves itself in that process. The ego obscures our vision and at the same time can be imperceptible. This ego that none of us possess (eye roll) has a terrible long term memory and often forgets that endless improvement is the ultimate goal. Our brains and bodies are built to learn, evolve and adapt ad infinitum. We will often rationalize, make excuses and argue just so we don’t have to see our mistakes. “Don’t destroy this image of who I think I am” the ego says. The words “You are human” often screams back at us. We know this but don’t really love to hear it. We make mistakes, we miscalculate and head in some odd directions in our life pursuits. This is clear for everyone but our ego will distort this message in its attempt to protect us and thus stops us from getting to where we want to go.
They say the ego is helpful as well and shouldn’t be ignored for it pushes us to be the best we can possibly be. I’d argue that it is not our ego that does this. It is our willingness to learn and get things right that should be the leader in this pursuit and not our ego. We can get lost in comparison and can forget that our training partners and competitors are there to help us to improve. You are who you are and there’s nobody like you so as long as you’re trying to be better, just be that. If you’re trying to hunt more game and collect more meat than your neighbor, this is ego. If you’re trying your best to feed your family and keep them from ever going hungry, this is your own internal will to do well at your job. Our goal is doing our very best and that is at the core of who we are as humans so don’t confuse that with the ego. Nature itself is always pursuing the most energy efficient and most effective strategy available to it. This can usually be a volatile and long process before things settle into a successful and stable state.
I wonder how much the ego communicates with the body? Does the ego think we are fragile? Does it doubt our capabilities to persevere, learn and recover? The internal communication that goes on within ourselves is so often distorted. This world moves fast and in our attempts to keep up we press fast forward instead of pressing pause. Can we at least hit “slow-mo”?! The easy answer is yes, we can. Processing our thoughts in silence via meditation helps to slow things down tremendously. It helps us see ourselves. We have way more practice looking externally and pointing fingers at what’s outside of us instead of pointing at the human staring back at us in the mirror. Even when we point at and criticize others, it’s often a projection of what we see in ourselves. To think “if we just fix this thing or this person, everything will be good in my life” is a lie. Are there horrible people out there? Absolutely. Stay away from them but let’s not stay away from ourselves. Don’t ignore what’s going on internally. Change alway starts with ourselves. Your ego is not your friend if you are in pursuit of knowledge, skill building or improvement and when I’m talking to you I’m talking to me.
